PMS mode.

I'm pretty much in a self-hate mode right now.

So many things I'm hating bout myself. Felt so worthless and my friend have to PMS on me, making me all the piss off than ever but being a miss nice, i actually tolerated it. Instead of exploding it into her face and screaming all the things I wanna say.

And then I'll look at myself in the mirror and think.

"How useless can you be?"

So I'm kinda in a 'PMS' mode now, even though I'm not.. at least biologically.

Sometimes I keep thinking if only I could relax myself and explode it, be more straight forward then I wouldn't feel so bad from all the burdens inside. But if I explode, I'd feel guilty for the hurt and sadness I caused anyway.

So it's better that I tolerate it right?

I hate to admit it but I'm kinda soft on people I loved. Friends and family.

Unless they're like that pervert simon. Then you know what happens.


Heard from Iris that the peeps are looking for me. For an outing; a game; a meal. But I'm always nowhere to be seen, not because I don't know but because I'm in sucha anti-social mood. My secondary classmates too. Called me out for game/celebration and I rather faced the four walls myself. Poly mates too. Everyone too.

I'm feeling so stressed, for the loss of relaxation. Alone.

Actually I would be cheered up if someone would accompany me to fly a kite; get a meal at pitstop; a trip to St John's Island and maybe.. a game of pool.

But it seems like everyone's busy too. Or ain't interested.

Sigh.