It's hard to speak english. Because they can't understand without la leh lors!

This might just be the true self of a cancerian. Hopelessly romantic and dreamy on the inside while being totally cool about it on the outside with people around. I guess everyone has this side of them that is totally unknown to the people around them, even those who hung out with them everyday.

It's the one in our mind, who we wanna be and yes, call it spiritual communication. The type that knows who you are, what you want even before you utter a word.

I know its gonna be pretty random for me to talk about this but hey.. is there anyone who you really thinks know you inside out?

I have no answer for myself. In any case, its not gonna be those people who goes "Oh! Charmaine wouldn't like this/can't like this and she's oblivious to *ahem* certain things."

C'on, I'm still alive is what I really wanna say instead of "Yeah, right" that I've been saying all this while. Call me a hypocrite or a coward for feeling one thing and yet saying the other. But hey, what am i supposed to say?

Honestly.

Today someone asked if i can understand chinese. Of course I can, but I dislike reading in chinese (unless its the tabloid or synopsis) and would very much be excluded in the all-chinese conversation nowadays.

My friends says that with the way I'm speaking, how can i be ang-mohed?

But I'd like to make a point.

It's not because I like speaking in la leh lors. It sucks really sometimes while listening to me speaking such english. But its the culture and there was this period of time I refrained from using these singlish grammars and ended up with lots of "huhs?!" from the people I'm conversing to.

It's not like I'm using words that are specifically chosen out from the dictionary. It's just that people don't understand you if you don't speak the leh la lors here! Especially with your friends.

Pronounciations is a problem, but i think I'm improving as days goes by and im glad of it. I think I will start to refrain from the leh la lors and see how it goes. I certainly don't wish to make it a habit.

This is also the time that I would like to shout at them in the face and say "who do you think you are. How much do you think you know about me?" I know its evil of me so I never did it actually. Heh!

And whooooots! It's time for some book-shopping at kino! :D