Goodbye, blogspot.

Hey peeps,

I'm ending this blog. Hmm, don't really see the need for explaining the reasons and everything. For those who knows my previous blog, you might want to check it out. The one that I had before this. If you didn't know of it, then perhaps I didn't want you to know.

Had thought it would be okay if people knows about this blog, but didnt really realize the people and things it could involve. It's after so many cases that I realize I really do need to lock up some of my entries but that features seems difficult in blogger here.

Which is one reason why I'm quitting it here.

Have a merry christmas & a happy new year. :)

Doing the things I do

Can anyone tell me why am I doing things that brings my hopes high up into the clouds and then dumping it onto the hard cold concrete despite knowing it all that the probabilities of anything happening in that scenerio is closer to the estimation of 0.000000000000000000000000000000000000000001?

It seems like I love doing things like this and then spend the day pondering over why I did so.

OUT! :S

Changes

You know you've reached a stagnant stage in your life and personal growth when everyday you woke up, you felt lethargic and negative of the day's prospect despite having a happy, positive outlook when you're around others.

So I've been thinking it through and thought I should make some changes to spice up my life.

Probably, maybe, this blog should be one of them. :)

The thing about self-selected stupidity

 I don't freaking understand what mom is thinking. Either she is doing it on purpose, otherwise I would think that she's a idiot in and out.

The things she've done truly reflects that way you know. She just doesn't think at all! I know its bad of me to be saying this but she absolutely refuses to heed any advices from us, her son and daughter but instead choose to take her friends stupid, ridiculous advices that makes zero sense in terms of scientific reasoning and logic sense.

I've scheduled a meeting with the guys who did our air-conditioners at home to come and check on the pipings for a second time because I am hating the fact that it is dripping, despite being a new unit and all. I had to repaint my room as a result of their incapabilities and lack of thinking when they install the unit and I am pissed off by that as well.

At that point of time, I've asked mom (since she was in charge) to let the guys know that the pipings should be done so that it doesn't leak and as long as the pipings doesnt go all over the room, its really ok. Afterall, not leaking is a priority. Isn't it?

Mom, being a smart ass, thinks that everything is "gonna be ok". C'on la! If everything is going to be okay, then there would not be disputes in the world at all. The telling them part is to let them know our requirements and they could route or plan the routings with that in mind and not result in today's situation whereby they dare tell me it's the cabling problem and guess what I said?

"Then you should have thought of that when you drilled the hole, because right now because of you I have to repaint my whole room and endure another round of drillings, cleaning and repainting all because of your employees being inexperienced like you said."

They offer to do the re-cabling free, but hey, who's gonna pay for my paint? Who's gonna do the painting for us? And who's gonna clean the room that is gonna be full of dust and whatsoever for us?

Isn't it still us who do the work?

Mom still have the audacity to look at me and say we should have do this do that when I reminded her in a stern tone: "I TOLD YOU TO TELL THEM AND LET THEM KNOW SO THEY WONT DO FUCK-ED UP STUFFS LIKE THIS."

I swear every conversation that took place between me and her just doesn't work out at all. If this is the case, then I wouldn't want to be conversing with her AT ALL. It just doesn't makes sense wasting time and saliva with her when none of the words register in her mind or brain, whichever is screwed up.

I am so fed up because all the simple things she couldn't even do comes back to haunt me and she dares to push the responsibilities back on me. Then she wanted to take out the air filter to clean and proceeded to just 'trial & error' hoping to get the thing out in 1 piece when I told her I'd check out the manual now.

She'd be more than happy if she spoilt the whole filter and waste money getting a new one before spoiling it and buying it again. That's her, wasting time and money on everyone's part.

I'm seriously through talking with her and total fedup, pissed off and annoyed at her stupidity.

Peace & Respect Pls!?

I hate it when mom brings back people to stay overnight, not one day, two days but for a period of time! It's like holiday resorts, those people would come in to irritate the hell outta me while enjoying themselves to the fullest.

They don't care who's in the room, they scream, they shout and their laughters is so loud it wakes me up from my sleep. Either that or I can't even get any peace while watching movies in the room.

Mom initially gave me a bunch of crap saying she'll be here for a week and promised others even without consulting me and brother. That got me irritated, as well as brother because we're worried that like in our previous home, someone would come in with the keys given without asking for permission and make the house such a noisy one and that doesnt even includes making our television spoilt!

Now, she is telling me that the lady would be here for an extended period of stay. Might be even months and I totally blew up on her. I reminded her that we promised to end it after the 1 week stay and now she has promised again without consulting us.

When this morning their voices woke me up from my deep, sweet slumber, it just make my blood boils and I just stay in my room hoping it would get better. But mom have to use the same old trick again, by using the keys to open the door and with a smirk on her face.

Which I take it as a total disregards of respect for me.

I admit I was too over the top, but I was too angry. I blew up totally. As in, I don't even bother talking to her anymore. Told her I'd be changing the lock for my room and everything which I will once I get down to the handyman.

Now seriously, can I just get some peace and respect!?

On-The-Job!

For the first time in my life, I felt inferior about my chinese proficiency! It was all a disgrace really..

Well, im supposed to speak in chinese when the caller input chinese as their preferred language. But what happens is that the technical terms and whatsnot I do not know of how to express in chinese, i had little choice but to say them as it is.

Hence, I was speaking a mixture of language most of the time. As if that's not bad enough, I suddenly broke into english while explaining halfway to a customer.

OMG LA!

My mentor was beside me, mouthing the words for me to repeat after her. I was like a parrot learning chinese! To think i was still so proud of my chinese proficiency less than a year ago. Whatever happens to me now!?

Sigh!

Also, I had my 2 days of on-the-job training since saturday. Really nerve-wrecking for me and I became that shy charmaine who stutters and have to calm herself down by breathing in and out. The good thing is that after today's training, i felt more at ease and understood more on the utilization of the system tools, which aint really user friendly to me!

Over the 2 days, I've had some nasty customer and some really great and funny ones. Example would be this lady who called in really angry and we were actually on the phone for some time. Although I couldnt do much to help her, she kind of calmed down and even thank me on the phone in a sorta friendly tone. I hope my conversation sorta cheered her up a little no? :D

Another example would be this guy who is so desperate to watch soccer la. I have no idea what makes ppl so over soccer, but he was so over that he became desperate. Nuff said!

***

Am now watching the annual stars awards on channel 8. I hate to think but hey, how come all the lao jiaos (old birds) are getting awards instead of the newbies although they've had better performance, more exposure and higher number of supporters?!

Is this a case of appreciation for the long-time employees or what!?

Really wasted my time watching the show man.. as always. Grr! Am getting to sleep now. Goodnight!

Filin' up e dates..

It will be the end of the last day of school after today, considering that it's now 1am in the morning! Everyone's been cruising along, in the holiday mood since the last ut3 is over and since PP presentation is over as well, basically everyone's just went crazy and made so much plans to get out.

Like today, I spent some 'quality time' with Tim, Yasmin and Liuzhi in the library. I actually fell asleep while sitting on the floor using my laptop and Yasmin actually saw it.

Liewww.. So paiseh! :D

I had a few great conversation with people I've lost touch with because of school work and everything else. In fact, I have just made plans to meet up Willy on the coming sunday for a visit to the farm to visit uncle and mervyn, who's back from australia! I'm not too sure about meeting up with Eryc though.. I mean, it still feels ultra strange and everything la despite him being a nice guy and everything -.-

Aiya.. better get to bed now. Those evil people in my class want breakfast tomorrow again! (less sleep for me = blur me)

Sayonara! :D

:D

I've been feeling really good lately, so much that I feel that it is really god has me in his eyes all the time.

I've made some positive changes and differences in myself that it feels good to know that because of what I've done, people are happier and that the old negative me is slowly going away to give way for a better, newer me! Bad habits are slowly getting better, new initiatives made and things are looking up, no doubt there's still hiccups or unhappiness that happens at times when you least expected it.

Anyway~ I've finally got the TV up on walls. It's been like ages and my table is finally cleared so that I may set up a new desktop (or maybe not. since I kinda like it this way) and yes yes.. my room looks so much neater now.

Until I took out new boxes. Haiyo! :P

Oh! and dontcha you people think that the rainy season lately added some 'feel' to Christmas that is arriving soon? I thought it was really nice though the raining part might be a little "duh!" when i get to work  or while I'm out!

Hmmm, I should really be getting to bed now since I'm supposed to get up in time for breakfast with Suhaili, Tim and the others in the morning but look what I'm doing now! blogging! with a grumbling stomach.. :S

Over The Moon

I admit that I was brinning with pride after reading the comment for friday's lesson. It's like a mission impossible you know, since I'm often the outcast in school.

In fact, I just couldn't resist showing it up here because I'm eager to share my joy! :DDD

 

It makes me feel so happy that I feel like making cookies today! :X

Happy Day!

fOk, let me try to summarize today's fun as short as possible!

I'm now in the starbucks@CWP and with me are Weiliang, Liu Zhi and Tim! Suhaili and Yasmin just went home like less than 10mins ago.. I had to stay behind because of the stupid virus in my comp. Need help to clear it lor! :(

Anyway, class today was really, really fu. Not the module, nor the faci, but the atmosphere that's really great! As usual me and Suhaili kept irritating each other at every chance we've got and the highlights of today is:

Suhaili: "Liew, today's weather is really hot ar!"

Me: "Yeah, cause im hot mah!" *sing the YOU'VE GOT THE WHOLE WORLD IN YOUR HANDS song again*

Suhaili: "!!!!!!!!" *start msn-ing everyone to tell them*

It was during presentation time so we were supposed to be quiet when CY's team got a problem with their model. Actually hor, I also didn't know where the problem lies but since they asked me to go out.. I just erm. try to help, giving whatever ideas I can.

Then Karmun also chipped in and the problem's finally solved! So CY was thanking us and this took place:

CY: "Charmaine and Karmun so smart!"

Suhaili: "Charmaine smart meh! HOT LA!"

Me: "WEII!!!!!! YOU PREGNANT LOR! *you xi in chinese*

****

After school, we met up and had dinner together. 6 of us, 3 buddy meals. I swear that Suhaili is trying to make me fat by giving me all the fats! Then we proceeded to where we are now and guess what? Yasmin wanted to take group pictures

**SNAP SNAP**

Yasmin: "Eh! why don't have me?!" *Try another time*

Yasmin: "STILL DON'T HAVE ME!!"

Wahahahahaha.. so funny can! Then LZ was so erm. shy. dont want to take picture and everything.

It's been really long since we had a day like this, laughing EVERY single moment from morning till night. It's like life's ever so easy..

Rain~

Today poor Susu got bullied again! She got locked out of the room and I really wonder why she couldn't open it despite facing with a opponent that looked smaller than her..

Celebrated Qid's birthday after school and rushed home after that. Wanted to sleep but just couldn't so ended up watching the tv in the living room instead, something that I hadn't done in a while. I don't know why, but I found it to be too noisy after a little while and started to lower down the volume till its mute.

My brother came home, looked at me and told his friend "My sista is not herself today" before his friend goes "Yeah.. It's weird to be watching eh. MUTE Tv!" while I go -.-

The most -.- moment is when my brother change his clothes and came out showing me a picture of himself in his room and asking me "Do you think this look like someone?"

"Gay?"

"You?"

"Ultra-man?"

"........."

"NO!! Don't you think I look like RAIN?!?!?!"

"..."  *silence*

"No wonder it's been raining lately. Not because you look like rain hor, but because you say you look like him."

"!!!!!!!!!!!"

And I can't believe he keep repeating how he look like rain for so long till he got his butt out of the house and STILL I can hear him saying "I DON LOOK LIKE RAIN MEH?!"

Walao eh! There is no hope for the human race!! :P

Gastric

Work was great today. Met new colleagues, introduced by my 'mentor' who's a very lovable, patient and gentle lady.

Eh, maybe except when that shitty dolly called in. :S

Worked from 9 till 6.30pm today and only ate a cup noodle, 1 mini hello panda package and 2 green tea because there was no food court around nearby that is opened and it was really rainy today! I also happen to forgot about packing lunch to work so.. SIGH! Then when we knocked off, we had Intended to share cab to the mrt station with mentor and one of her friend, who is also my colleague and it just so happen that the chartered bus is here! So we saved ourselves some cash because we had thought the chartered bus would be a long wait.

I stopped for a little while at Cold Storage only to have me walking like a penguin with my hand at the gastric area because I'm too freaking hungry! Sigh, when it was time to eat, I had only so much.. that much because I couldn't even finish my drink! :(

Came home, rest a little while, nap a good 10mins and wanted to eat my salad in the fridge only to find out that it's SPOILT. Mom had to rub in a little more salt on my poor hurt soul and force me to eat those mini donuts that is so not donut-y at all!

But hey, beggars cant be choosers yeah? So I'm eating them right now and it tasted quite. ermm.. ok~

I'll be starting work officially next week and and and I'm so nervous! what if I met with those erm. Interesting people like DOLLY?! Probably pull my hair out by then.. gotta bring my stressball there!

Oh! And thats how interesting my weekend is.. :(

Hilarious Day

Yeah! I finally finished watching the korean drama <<Witch Yoo Hee>> within 2 days. It's a really nice show, with attractive casts but the plots just tends to drag a little sometimes..

I would still say <<My Girl>> is better when it comes to those heartwrenching moments. But it's really sweet seeing what the couple will do for each other.. :)

I'm so busted right now and gotta wake up early for tomorrow's work. It's my first observation day! I'm nervous! I'm also sicked of the lack of variety of food there.. :(

Anyway, we had a really nice time after school in class today. Suhaili got her karma retribution from bullying Kahmun too much and see what happen? Kahmun running after her with a dead lizard in her hand.. one that doesn't even have a head on it! :S

It all started when Berlinda came up with the idea of snatching Kahmun's mouse again. As Suhaili was guilty of the exact same thing last week, she automatically became Kahmun's first suspect. Being a very nice person, I tried to assure her that it's not Suhaili's doing but did not try to spoil the game as well.. BUT!! Suhaili have got too bad  a karma. Lol!

So the chasing around started and that Suhaili.. LIEW! She pulled my jacket and me infront to help her shield the lizard attack! I was so freaked out so there was more running around. In the end, we were at our table when I got out to let Suhaili get away from Mun's attack but she lost her balance and fell from the chair.

*BOOM!*

And she dropped on my back. -.-"

According to the very nice Suhaili, she was trying to..

HOP ON TOP OF ME WHILE I WAS ON THE CHAIR.

Walao eh! Heng I ran out. If not the one falling would be me.. the one with backaches and perhaps even a crushed back or something. LOL! :D

:)

For once, the air wasn't so suffocating. She could breathe easy, just the way she wants it. The room is now dimly lited with music playing softly in the background. She couldn't remember the last time she felt any better than this.

As usual, she's writing her late night entry. She loves jotting her thoughts down at this hour for there she knows, in the corner lies her true self waiting to be found. She's been feeling melancholic lately and it's been acting up again. The feeling of reluctance and all sorts of negativities that seems to be consuming her. In front of others she's always happy, cheeky even though traits of the unhappy perfectionist still surface now and then. Then again, she wasn't blaming anyone.

Because she's happy with everyone, except herself.

Pushing herself back into the cushion she had set comfortably for herself a moment ago, she had thought about the question that her mate had posed to her in the evening.

"So.. have you always been like this? This happy-go-lucky? No worries?"

The concerned friend asked. The friend had probably asked out of curiousity or even out of envy but with a good intention. Searching through for the answers in her head, she could hardly mutter a "Yes" to take it as the answer to the question that seems so simple yet profound.

At this very moment, she sat up from her position and started to jot down what might just be the answer that she had in mind.

"No. That is not me. I am not as strong as you think I am. But what can be done? Look, people are crying and saddness is abundant. But these saddness can only be kept away from view by laughters and smiles that is contagious. Only laughters can stop saddness, that evil plague from spreading. Only laughters can serves as the only treatment to what have happened in the past.

It is a big burden to be carrying a whole sack of saddness around. I have learnt to set them down and use it as a fertiliser, to grow happiness from the seeds I've planted. I will grow them with love, but time sometimes disappoints me. I will learn from these disappointments, give doubt, be doubt and the cycle will repeat over and over again. I have my worries but they are kept away for fear of pride and to keep it up with the strong front.

At times I feel tired from carrying the burdens around before I sow the seeds. It can be anyone's burden. A friend's, a family's or even a stranger's. But when they are relieved, happiness spreads and thats when it makes it all worth it.."

:)

It's that season again..

I had wanted to blog quite abit about how i felt but I thought perhaps its just not the time yet to blog it down here.

Maybe one day, just one day when I'm ready to give it all. :)

But for some reasons, I hated december and christmas secretly inside for a long long time. I wish to start loving this season.

Let's see how it goes.

Down Down Down

Caught Enchanted the second time after UT. Jing & me took a cab just so we can catch the movie.. which is still as funny and touching. Jing got tickled by the chipmunk so much she was chuckling all the way..

Came home and got my room ready for the drillings.. the long awaited drillings tomorrow. After my presentation. I am soooo sooo.. sooo nervous.

I mean, its a good thing that I'm the last person which means I get to view others performance before me, but hey.. that means I have the longest wait with that anxiety feeling as well.

I've been feeling kinda down since I'm down with sore throat, cough and the sneezes but enchanted pop me up again only to have me feeling like a deflated balloon after I read this blog.

I never understood why people can take a marriage vow so simply like a word you find in the dictionary. Ain't it supposed to be sacred, a promise that last forever?

Even if the promise of being together does not last forever, wouldn't it be good if the people promise to try? Isn't thats what all it is about.. Marriage?

I wanted to throw faeces at the guy after reading it.. assuming everything that was written is the truth. I know there are jerks around like this so I don't throw out that possibility but to put in god words, he is condemned. I hope karma finds him and make him pay back for all the hurt that he have caused..

:(

Oh.. and you know how I used to go "walao eh" at my classmates who plan her schedule like 1 month before and need to use a organizer? Now I think I am better than her, except that my organizer is not really a organizer but merely papers flying all around.

I have schedule in my new job, my new course and I predict that time left will be very little for myself so I've been trying to meet up with friends I haven't seen in a while or want to meet up just to know they're doing fine. However, I kept having this feeling that I'm the one making the effort and I'm tired of it. So I'm not going after them and say "hey! lets go blah blah blah or wherever to hang out!"

Now I just wanna be cool, stay home and see if they contact me. If not.. I wouldn't want to make the effort anymore. I mean, I'm trying really hard despite me being busy with tests and everything but don't make me initiate things everytime.

Robot also need to rest can?

Sigh. Maybe I should learn Pangpang & Changi in singing Mr Lonely.. :S

JON McLAUGHLIN!

I spent the day at home and at the doctor's today. Went to see a doctor regarding my sore throat which really hurts and he gave me this super big antibiotics and even gave me a pill for chestiness, which is like problem breathing in the lungs because of the phglem.

So I was so sadded because for one, I couldn't talk as much as I want to!! Yuxiang called me up during first break and asked if I wanted breakfast. I told her I had a sore throat and am staying at home but she heard it as I'm still sleeping. She even went "HUH" so loud!

I had to talk quite painfully to her over the phone and clarify that I am having sore throat (oei, i woke up at 6.30am okay!! :P)

Was feeling really crossed with mom in the afternoon due to what happened yesterday. Slept a while during the evening when she's out with her friends and woke up just in time to eh. catch my show.

Shit la!! I am not studying and I am buying too much stuffs online. Whatever happen to my social life? I complaint to my classmates about they being heartless because you know la, me being such a kind and innocent person being very nice and thoughtful to them when they sick you know..

only to have them saying "good, dont get well so soon!" but thats not as evil as this.

"COZ I DON WAN HEAR YOU OR SEE YOUR FACE!!"

Whoa, damn sadded la. Tomorrow I shall not talk to them in protest! (I can't talk anyway.. hahaha!) and yes yes, hempf. I'm going to ignore them. HEMPF!

Oh.. and I found my new *ahem* eye candy. Introducing.. JON McLAUGHLIN!

Cute looking right! I know! :X He's the one who sang "So Close" in the Enchanted Movie while Giselle and Robert were dancing away the night in each other's arms!

Can I say how beautiful that scene was? *wipe tears*

**PS: I hope that this album, proud father is not referring to himself. I think he's referring to our Lord, Jesus Christ but if he's referring to himself, my hopes will be dashed! :((( **

2nd day of work

We had our second day of training today. Learnt about the other theories and finally our hands-on on the system itself.

Walao eh, a bit complicated for a dumb brain like mine can? The trainer was going like she can't wait to kill us all off with her machine gun. I didn't see her so enthusiastic in her work when she's going through all the theories and now she's going so fast we had to go "WAIT!!!!"

Which is funny, really. -.-

We might be getting our own tables, which would be very cool if that's the case and the 5 of us finally realized what a chore it is to be eating lunch there on a sunday. There's only one coffeeshop that is open and you know what? There's only 2 stalls opened for main dishes. Both are economic cooked food. The others were drink stalls and fruit stalls which doesn't really fits in the concept of a filling lunch ya know?

So we had the economic rice which is kinda equivalent to fried food again (on saturday we had that in another food court althugh there were more choices there) and it really sucks even the price was cheaper than what we get in school and outside plus they had large serving of rice.

We waited for a while for the chartered bus but it was getting late and the bus ain't here yet. So we walked all the way to the bus stop after the express way and and and finally caught a bus to dover where we changed to a train.

Everything else, isn't worth mentioning.. I've been so tired even though its like we're doing nothing for now! I guess it's the brain power..

About The New Job & People

Sheesh! I haven't been blogging as frequently! No wonder I felt so empty..

Today I will be getting to my new workplace again. It's kinda far, like an 1 hr there and back plus  a chartered bus ride. It's really the first time I'm working in a industrial place where there are so many commercial buildings around that looks like they are factories(or maybe they are) with their own canteens.

I was thankful to find out that we could actually choose to work on weekdays if we wanted to, so that solves my problem of finding work during the holidays. I don't really want to go roadshow you know, because the income is instable.

There are 4 people other than me who are the newcomers here. Three of us are from the same school but the other two hit it off better with each other probably because they knew each other right from the start. I wanted to make noise like what I did in the class but I was so shy!

*chuckles*

So I'm this really eh. nice girl who is kinda quiet in my workplace now. :X But I wish there's something that breaks the ice you know, because it starts to get awkward after a while..

I got home and mom said there's crab on the stove which turned out to be live crabs still waiting to be cooked! I was kinda fed up because she knew how early I got up (6am) and she expected me to wait till her cooking is done, which she should already done since i told her what time i would get back and how tired I was.

When I saw that, my eyes literally rolled rounds and rounds before I got back to my room and slept it off from 7.30pm till this morning 5.30am. Shiokness is when I wake up and see the crabs there in the pot on the table! :D

I got to get ready soon for the early breakfast and get ready to get to work. My mp3 is a really nice companion, but I'm thinking if there's anything better because I'm really bored stiff on the train and transportation..

In fact, I literally snooze off everytime I got a seat while on them. :P